Take a minute or two to read my story below. This isn’t the final draft, but I’m turning this draft in tomorrow and I want someone else’s opinion on my story. Is it good? Horrible? Over dramatic? Boring? Interesting? ANY ANSWER is appreciated, don’t be shy!
I believe that we were born to be here in this time, this moment, this place. This was easy to believe as I stood gazing up at the most spectacular display known to man, something we have all stopped to see at some point in our lives, something that has roused a resounding and brilliant sense of awe in all of us. Perhaps the fact that we were finally there, in the sweltering, muggy Amazon rainforest, teeming with life and a stunning sense of adventure, had already inspired us all. Maybe this was true, but I think the reason we students and teachers alike stopped in our tracks was the fact that, for most of us, we were truly seeing the night sky for the very first time.
I had rushed through many places and events in my past, but there are times in all of our lives that widen our eyes to the fact that yes, this moment is real, and it is our purpose to enjoy it. For me, it was seeing the stars — an unexplainable number of tiny lights, the stretch of varying shades of brilliant turquoise and faded white we call the Milky Way — that kept me entranced. I’d never seen anything like it; maybe in pictures taken by NASA, or in a Space documentary I saw on Discovery Channel. But of course, no picture can match the feeling of standing where I stood then, on the banks of the Tambopata River in the Amazon jungle, no lights to dim the sky but the ones so far above me. It truly was as if the earth had stood still, just for a moment, a moment that I could drag on forever as long as I simply stood there and kept looking up. No words were exchanged between any of us, the thirty some people standing there for ten, maybe fifteen minutes — it didn’t matter — all of us feeling the exact same way: insignificant under such a vast, endless display of lights, and amazed into silence. Well, that’s how we tried to describe the feeling afterwards, when we finally picked up our bags and headed off to the lodge to sleep. But very soon we gave up trying to find words to exchange; we fell silent as we stumbled through the dark lodge, without electricity, trying to find our rooms, knowing that conversation was pointless when we were all, for the moment, thinking the same thing.
I tried to remember what exactly had caused the prolonged pause, the group of us slowing to a stop and losing ourselves in the silence, spellbound by our own thoughts as we looked up at the sky. All I could remember was thinking that I didn’t really care about the mosquitos eating me alive as I stood in the sand, temporarily forgetting about how tired and sweaty and hungry I was. I could have laid down in the sand, leaned against my backpack, and fallen asleep; that’s how long we stood on the banks of that river. Because rarely before then had I considered that maybe I don’t stop enough, just to be there, in the moment, at that time, in that place. Maybe I worry too much about the past, regretting, or maybe I worry too much about the future. When did regret get me anywhere? When did worrying about the trivial things help me out in the end? At some point, everyone realizes how foolish it is to constantly look ahead. Because occasionally, if you just stop for a moment, however briefly, and look, you’ll be able to see the stars.
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Thank you for reading ~ Please take the time to answer! =)
ylime - oh…sorry if I didn’t put this in the description… this is a Personal Narrative writing assignment for school. Not a "story".
I believe that we were born to be here in this time, this moment, this place…
Your opener got my attention. Very good opener.
Then you veered off the path. Do I have to travel to the Amazon to see stars..is this what the Amazon offers?
Amazon rain forest, teeming with life…..what kind?
turquoise and faded white we call the Milky Way — that kept me entranced. I’d never seen anything like it…..nice construction. I began to see what you saw.
we gave up trying to find words to exchange; we fell silent. ..hmmmm nice,nice.
I tried to remember what exactly had caused the prolonged pause… Hey! you wandered again! Great flow, here! ..but.. What exactly had caused the prolonged pause??
Maybe I worry too much about the past, regretting, or maybe I worry too much about the future. When did regret get me anywhere? When did worrying about the trivial things help me out in the end? At some point, everyone realizes how foolish it is to constantly look ……..
hmmmmm! you are doing it again! You have opened a very intriguing door for me and then shut it….tell me more about yourself, here. Why are you at the Amazon basin
if you just stop for a moment, however briefly, and look, you’ll be able to see the stars…Wow! Where would that put me if I read more?
You have talent as distant as those stars..and as close as their light.
You need to stand on the banks of "self" and take a moment to see the stars in you that I do…sometimes we stumble through a darkness looking for stars..like yours.